Caught in the thrill of consumerism, lost in the maze of pop-up links that beckon me like an evil troll “Go this way. Here you will find what you seek’. The perfect pair of jeans that will lift my butt to heights of bygone decades. The anti-wrinkle serum made from snail slime that will erase the proof I have witnessed quite a few of those bygone decades. So many quests I can accept that will solve my problems and provide the thrill and momentary dopamine hit of the purchase. 

Online shopping seems to provide a more socially acceptable hit of dopamine than gambling, though it is initiating the same neuropsychological pathways and reward seeking networks. 

I remember when I first jumped on the eBay train, way back when eBay was primarily a place for selling second hand items and all purchases were secured through the auction / bidding method. I became hooked on the adrenaline of winning each bidding war. Using strategy and lightning fast reflexes to click BID with 2 seconds remaining on the countdown clock to win the purchase battle. It was exhilarating. Not eh purchase, but the sense of beating the opponent. Winning!

I realised I had a problem when more often that not I would have buyers regret within seconds of placing the winning bid. It was not the item I was bidding for. It was the thrill of winning. 

Behavioural scientists have found that the greatest dopamine dump comes during anticipation of the reward, not at the actual time of achieving the reward. I experience that with online shopping where the thrill of obsessively hunting for a specific item becomes the whole adventure, creating an almost OCD like focus. When I finally locate and purchase the item it is actually a bit of a letdown. The chase is more fun that the capture. 

Part of me has little regard for the consumerist culture that is purposefully driven by large multinational through leveraging our fears. Through constant reminders that we are not enough, that there is something wrong with us and there is a product that will fix us. A solution to a problem that we have been intentionally duped into believing we have. 

Too old? We have a cream for that. 

Too grey? We can colour that problem away. 

Not confident? Here is a very expensive bag that will help. 

Not as successful as your neighbour? Don’t worry, buy this car and no-one will ever know. 

I yearn to be free from the complexity of all this stuff. I want less stuff in my life. 

This year I have been clearing out a lot of stuff. So many bags of clothes, numerous shoes, kitchen items; all have been tossed or donated. Good stuff, quality stuff. Stuff that has cost me a lot of money, and yet somehow, I still have more stuff than I need and I am a little embarrassed to admit I continue to buy more stuff. I mean, well, I do have space for it now!!

I am exercising a little more restraint, purposefully delaying hitting the ‘Checkout’ button to see if the urge passes. To see if I can make do with the excitement of the chase without follow through. 

The point is not to stop enjoying nice things or to go without stuff that brings joy. God knows that in the current state of the world we need a little joy. However, if the urge to consume has become a habit rather than a choice, or if your cupboards are overflowing or if your bank balance is suffering, or most importantly if you sense you are using the thrill of shopping to avoid dealing with negative feelings such as sadness, loneliness or overwhelm…then maybe it is time to clear out your cupboards. Literally and figuratively. 

Some prompts for journaling or to use to evaluate any decision to buy stuff include:

• How often do I catch myself in a buying frenzy, or purchasing stuff in a kneejerk response to advertising as I scroll online?
• What am I feeling when unplanned or unnecessary purchasing occurs? Explore if there is a pattern such as after particularly bad days at work, or after conflict with your spouse. 
• Do I have lots of shopping tabs open on my browser with carts awaiting final check out? What does it feel like to close those tabs?
• How could I disconnect the dopamine seeking behaviour and short circuit the purchase? Other activities or hobbies, exercise, go for a walk, garden, call a friend or have phone/laptop free evenings. 
• What would I like to fill my life with if not with ‘stuff’. 
• How could I use the money I save to do or purchase something meaningful?

If you are feeling the pull towards a more spacious life, I suggest you start with the physical and clear out your cupboards, create actual space in your life. Notice how that feels lighter and less demanding and a little more in control. 

Let me know how you are creating more space or what you are doing to simplify your life.

Stay groovy

Kim